While eloping is a pretty stress-free way to get married, telling your family that you want to elope can sometimes be tough. It’s the one issue that I hear engaged couples really struggling with. Sometimes your family will understand and be happy for you, but many times it becomes an issue that can hurt relationships and cause stress. I’ve been thinking a lot about how this issue can be remedied, and I have some great tips for you. So if you’re thinking about eloping and wondering how to break the news to your family in the best way, read on!
I’d like to note that although I love elopements, I totally don’t believe that it’s the right kind of wedding for everyone. But if you’ve decided it’s 100% for you, I hope this helps!
Understand their perspective
Everyone has different ideas on what a wedding should be. Your mom may have been dreaming for years about helping your plan a big wedding, or your grandma may have been envisioning you carrying on family wedding traditions. Know ahead of time that they may be pretty disappointed that you’re not going to fulfill what they imagined your wedding would be like. But also remember that you can’t make everyone happy, and that what you want as a couple comes first.
As you break the news that you want to elope, make sure you’re sharing from your heart the reasons you want to skip a big wedding. It might not make sense to your family, but if they hear how excited you are and that you’re sure it’s the right thing for you, they may accept it more easily.
Explain that it’s not about exclusion
Your reasons for eloping are likely less about excluding people, and more about just focusing on you and your fiance. Remind your family that you love them, and that they are still so important to you.
Offer to involve them in other ways
Your family will probably greatly appreciate any effort you make to include them in aspects of your intimate wedding. You can include them in a gathering after the wedding, in planning before, or even include them in your ceremony from afar. I’ll be talking about some more specific ideas in a future blog post!
Stand your ground
Sometimes family just doesn’t understand why you would want to elope. They may beg you to or try to guilt you into having a big wedding. But please stand your ground and do what’s best for you and your fiance. If you give in and go for a traditional wedding, you probably will regret it for years to come. And you certainly don’t want any resentment or disappointment towards your family or when you think back about your wedding. Remember the marriage is more important than the wedding.
Hey, friend! I’m Julie – an adventure wedding & elopement photographer who loves the outdoors and traveling! My photography is fun and heartfelt while highlighting the beauty of love and nature. I’m based in Albuquerque, New Mexico, but wedding photography takes me throughout the southwest, to national parks, and all over the world! To find out more about destination wedding photography, check out my travel page. And if you want to get some great elopement planning tips, check out planning and advice section of the blog.